MOTHER HUMOR

MOTHER HUMOR

POSITION AVAILABLE : Mom

JOB DESCRIPTION

Long term team players needed for challenging Permanent work

in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess

excellent communication and organizational skills and be able

to work various hours, which will include evenings and weekends

and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel

required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy

weekends and endless sports tournaments in faraway cities.

Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties

also required. You will be expected to carry with you at all times

those things needed at any given moment in odd locations such as

but not nearly limited to tissue, batteries, chap stick, paper clips for

broken zippers and snacks when someone will die from starvation.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

This is for the rest of your life." Must be willing to be hated at

least temporarily, until someone needs $5 to go somewhere.

Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must

possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go

from zero to 60 mph to three in seconds flat in case, this time,

the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.

Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as

small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.

Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production

of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize

social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be

willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.

Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half

million cheap, plastic toys and battery operated devices.

Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.

Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end

product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial

work throughout the facility. Illness or chronic pain is accepted in this

position but will not be excused as a reason to not fulfill all of the job

requirements, however those you work for are allowed excuses.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT AND PROMOTION:

Virtually none.Your job is to remain in the same position for years,

without complaining. You must constantly retrain and update your skills

without forgoing your current duties, so that those in your charge can

ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

None required, unfortunately. But you must have the patience

of a Saint when you accidently get pinched or bopped in the

head by an energetic obilivious little one. On-the-job training offered

on a continually exhausting basis. *NOTE* Babies have the strength

of two men in their tiny little fingers.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

You pay them, offering frequent raises and bonuses.

A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the

assumption that college will help them become financially independent.

When you die, you give them whatever is left.

The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually

enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:

While there is no weekly pay check, no health or dental insurance,

no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no

stock options offered the job does supply limitless opportunities for personal

growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right!

I DID'NT DO IT!! THIS EXACT PICTURE HANGS ON OUR WALL AS A REMINDER OF MY CHILDRENS FAVORITE SAYING ALL IN GOOD HUMOR OF COURSE!!	DOVESPLACE- FOR THOSE WITH FMS AND OTHER CHRONIC PAIN \| HOME \| WHAT IS FIBROMYALGIA \| WHAT IS CHRONIC FATIGUE \| COMMON MEDICATIONS \| HEALTH LINKS \| YOUR STORIES \| PEN PAL LISTINGS \| POETRY LIST \| WEBRINGS \| MY STORY \| DAILY BREAD \| INNER JOURNEY \| RELAXING SOUNDS \| MOTHER HUMOR \| FAVORITE LINKS \| MY FAMILY PHOTOS \| CONTACT ME
	MOTHER HUMOR POSITION AVAILABLE : Mom JOB DESCRIPTION Long term team players needed for challenging Permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be able to work various hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in faraway cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required. You will be expected to carry with you at all times those things needed at any given moment in odd locations such as but not nearly limited to tissue, batteries, chap stick, paper clips for broken zippers and snacks when someone will die from starvation. RESPONSIBILITIES: This is for the rest of your life." Must be willing to be hated at least temporarily, until someone needs $5 to go somewhere. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph to three in seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility. Illness or chronic pain is accepted in this position but will not be excused as a reason to not fulfill all of the job requirements, however those you work for are allowed excuses. POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT AND PROMOTION: Virtually none.Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining. You must constantly retrain and update your skills without forgoing your current duties, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you. PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required, unfortunately. But you must have the patience of a Saint when you accidently get pinched or bopped in the head by an energetic obilivious little one. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. NOTE Babies have the strength of two men in their tiny little fingers. WAGES AND COMPENSATION: You pay them, offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. BENEFITS: While there is no weekly pay check, no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options offered the job does supply limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right!